Q&A with BEBANG SIY: Author of "It's a Mens World"

      1.      Do you consider yourself as a feminist? Why or why not?

      2.      Do you consider your writing as a feminine style? Why or why not?

      3.      How did you come up with the title of this book (It’s a mens world)?

      4.      Among the 20 essays in this book, which one is your favourite? Why?

      5.      Presently, do you think men still dominates our society? Or is it the women’s time already?

      6.      In Ronald Lim’s article in Manila Bulletin entitled “Vagina monologues”, he mentioned the limited choice we have in terms of modern Filipina’s representation and that it is refreshing to come across someone like you, how do you feel about that comment? (since it seems that you became a new representation of the modern Filipina)

      7.      Do you believe that it doesn’t always have to be a man’s world? Why?

      8.      As the eldest in a Chinese family and not being a boy? How do you honestly feel about it?

      9.      Since one of the major topics of your book is about menstruation and having it means being a woman, do you believe that the women’s bodies are their destiny?

     10.  “Bakit ko nga ba susundin ang babaeng ‘to? Wala namang kuwentang babae. Wala naming kuwentang asawa. I therefore conclude, wala ring kakwuenta-kuwentang nanay.”

These lines are some of the heaviest in your book. It greatly shows the effects of your father’s opinion about your mom into you, what if your mother tells you the same about your father, who will have a greater impact on you (your mother or your father’s words)?

1   11.  Helene Cixous, a famous feminist believes in the freeing of the self through writing, in your book it seems that you free yourself through writing. Am I right? If yes or no, how can you describe your feelings while writing?

     12.  How does being a mother and having a son affects your writing?

     13.  Being a single mother, how far do you think your influence can go in your son’s life?

     14.  If you can some it all up in one word, how does it feel living in a “mens world”?

Prepared by: Lablynn Yvette Bautista

                     UPLB MACA

QUESTIONS FOR BEBANG SIY:

1.     Do you consider yourself as a feminist? Why or why not?

Parang hindi ko gusto ang branding na peminista. Pag nagsusulat ako, kagaya rin ako ng mga lalaki, isinusulat ko kung ano ang gusto kong isulat. Peminista ba ang tawag doon?

Hindi rin ako sigurado kung peminista ang tawag sa ganito: kapag may mga naghahanap ng suggestion para magsalita sa isang literary event, ang lagi kong isina-suggest ay kapwa ko babae na manunulat. Kasi feeling ko, hindi masyadong nare-represent ang mga babaeng manunulat.

Kapag may nagtatanong sa akin kung sino sino ang mga paborito kong manunulat at ano ano ang mga paborito kong aklat, sinisiguro ko na may mga manunulat na kababaihan sa babanggitin ko.

Peminista nga ba ang tawag sa ganito? Hindi ako sure.

2.     Do you consider your writing as a feminine style? Why or why not?

Hindi naman. Palagay ko hindi feminine ang style ko, hindi pa-gurl. Pero pang babae ang topic ko. Palagay ko rin, honest ito. Kaya kung honest, ibig bang sabihin noon ay feminine na? Hindi siguro. Pero madetalye ako. At nabasa ko somewhere na mas magaling ang mga babae sa pagbibigay at pagpansin sa mga detalye.

3.     How did you come up with the title of this book (It’s a mens world)?

Ang orihinal na pamagat ng sanaysay kung saan ko hinango ang pamagat ng aklat ay Regla Baby. Parang nilaro ko ang term na Regal Baby ni Mother Lily (ang may ari ng Regal Films na siyang producer ng mga pelikula noon bago pa sumikat ang ABS-CBN, GMA Films at iba pa.) ang Regal Baby ay iyong mga artista na nila-launch ni Mother Lily.

Napansin ko noong Regla Baby pa ang title ng essay, hindi siya ma-publish-publish. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. kung saan-saan ko na sinubmit at kung tama ang pagkakaalala ko pati sa Palanca. talo!

Isang araw, habang nakasakay ako sa dyip, bigla ko na lang naisip ang phrase na it’s a mens world. At sabi ng loob ko, puwede. Bagay naman sa essay ko. Kaya iyon.

Inuna ko ang essay na ito kasi palagay ko it sets the tone of the whole book. Na this book is something really personal, na its about a girl/woman, na its about living in other people’s standards, parang ganon. Kaya naisip ko, maganda na rin na ito na ang pamagat ng buong aklat. Kasi parang it will give you a glimpse of what the book is all about.

4.     Among the 20 essays in this book, which one is your favourite? Why?

Ang Lugaw, Bow. Mas paborito ko ang tatay ko kesa sa nanay ko. Pero kung buhay pa siya ngayon,palagay ko, maka-nanay ako ahahahaha!

I think nagtagumpay ako sa kuwentong Ang Lugaw, Bow. Naipakita ko na kahit gano kagago ang tatay ko, 

mahal pa rin niya kaming mga anak niya. Nagtagumpay ako na ipakita ang pagmamahal niya sa amin sa panulat na simple at light lang. Pero ang totoo, mabigat yun. Mabigat ang paksa. Marital problems yun, e. Broken homes. Financial difficulties. Pero hindi ko pinapabigat para sa reader. Na para bang wala lang ang mga kinukuewnto ko rito. Pero im so sure na yung mga nakaranas ng katulad ng naranasan naming mag-anak, alam nila kung gaano ito kabigat.

Favorite ko rin ‘yong Bayad-Utang. Kasi marami daw natawa doon. At naniniwala ako na lahat yata tayo, me ganong uri ng kasalanan sa mga kapatid. Yung napapagalitan sila dahil sa atin hahahaha!

5.     Presently, do you think men still dominates our society? Or is it the women’s time already?

Yes of course. They still do. Kaya nga, para makabenta ng alak at yosi (na karamihan ay lalaki ang market), kelangan me babaeng nakabikini para imodel ang mga ito. Karamihan sa mga decision maker sa kompanya, lalaki pa rin. Marami pa rin sa mga working moms, pag-uwi, magluluto pa tapos mag-aasikaso pa ng mga anak.

Pero palagay ko, marami na ang nag-improve kung ikukumpara noon. Dati, bawal bumoto ang mga babae. Me nabasa ako noon sa UP Library. Libro tungkol sa debate (I think mga politician noon ang nagdedebate at nakasulat sa book na ito) kung bakit dapat bumoto ang babae. Tapos matatawa ka sa mga argument ng mga anti. Sabi nila,  kung girl pa, the father can represent him sa pagboto. Kung may asawa na, puwede naman yung asawang lalaki ang mag-represent sa pagboto. Madodoble lang ang pagboto kung pati yung babae ay pabobotohin. Ganyan! Imagine? Nakakatawa, di ba?

So basically, we have already succeeded. Hindi tayo masyadong discriminated kung ikukumpara sa women sa ibang bansa. Kaya okay naman. We are moving forward. I believe.

6.     In Ronald Lim’s article in Manila Bulletin entitled “Vagina monologues”, he mentioned the limited choice we have in terms of modern Filipina’s representation and that it is refreshing to come across someone like you, how do you feel about that comment? (since it seems that you became a new representation of the modern Filipina)

Siyempre flattered ako. Maganda talaga ang mga sinabi ni Ronald. Of all reviews, siya lang ang tumukoy sa Ermita bilang isang tauhan din sa libro. Napansin niya (siya lang ang nakapansin) kung paano kong pinortray ang sulok-sulok ng Ermita, Divisoria at iba pang bahagi ng Maynila sa akda.

Anyway, flattered ako sa sinabi niya. Kasi parang lagi na lang virgin and the vamp ang representations nating kababaihan. Lagi na lang, prostitute, madre, good girl, bad girl. Opposite poles lagi. Either make up nang make up or losyang. Batambata at seksi or laos. Wala bang yung normal lang? di ba? Yung sapat lang? Kumbaga sa kulay, gray.

At palagay ko, isa ako doon. Sa mga gray. Mabuti akong tao pero me mga katarantaduhan din ako. Pero hindi naman ako tarantadong-tarantado. Nagkakamali rin ako pero may background ang mga pagkakamali ko at higit sa lahat, handa akong pagbayaran ang mga ito, lalo na kung kasalanan ko namang talaga. Filipina lang ba ang ganyan? I guess, hindi. Let’s just say, normal lang na tao. Tao lang, ganon.  Tao. Ang modern Filipina ay ordinaryong tao. Katulad din nating lahat. Maraming flaw pero laging sumusubok na makagawa ng tama at mabubuting bagay para sa ikakaganda ng mundo. (pang miss universe ata itong sagot ko!)

7.     Do you believe that it doesn’t always have to be a man’s world? Why?

Of course! Ang mundo ay binubuo ng iba’t ibang uri ng tao. Ang lungkot naman kung men lang ang star sa mundong ito, di ba? E anlaki-laki naman at aalog-alog sila kung sila lang ang star dito. Kaya  palagay ko, its time to share the limelight to everyone. Hindi lang to women. To all na. mas exciting ang ganon.

8.     As the eldest in a Chinese family and not being a boy? How do you feel honestly about it?

Hindi ko ito naiisip noon. My dad never let me feel that he’s sad because his first born is a girl. Actually, hindi ako ang first born niya. Ang tsismis, he was about 15 when he got someone pregnant. The baby, boy pa naman, was brought to their house at ipinakita sa mga magulang ng tatay ko. I think the girl, the nanay of the baby, was not Chinese. I think yun ang isang dahilan kung bakit hindi nagkainteres ang magulang niya sa bata. They were very traditional. Chinese for chinese only ang drama ng matatanda.

Sabi sa tsismis, hindi raw lumabas ang tatay ko nang dalhin ang bata sa bahay na yon. Tapos umuwi na ang baby at ang nanay nito. At pumunta sa US. At hindi na sila nakita pang muli. My dad never told us a thing. Hindi rin ito alam ng nanay ko. Never siyang nagbanggit ng tungkol dito. Yung mga pinsan kong dalaga ang nagkuwento sa akin nito. At akala siguro nila, makakalimutan ko na ito. Kasi parang isang beses lang nila naikuwento tapos hindi na naungkat uli kahit kelan. Pero naaalala ko, habang nagkukuwento sila ay naiimagine ko ang babae na may dalang bata. Nasa tapat ng pinto ng tindahan namin. That fictional photo in my memory, sobrang di ko makalimutan. Kaya hanggang ngayon, naaalala ko ang kuwentong ito tungkol sa tatay ko.

Years after, my dad met my mom. Niligawan niya nga tapos binuntis niya. And then my mom found out na may nauna pala sa kanya. So may ate ako. At meron din akong kapatid na babae ulit (from the same woman kung saan ako nagkaate), na kaedad ni colay. As in pareho pa sila ng birth month at year (siyempre). I guess, my dad bukod sa pagiging babaero niya, maybe he was trying to have a son.

Siguro karma niya ito. Lahat kami, babae. Hahahaha!

Heto kaming magkakapatid (na alam ko ha, marami pa kasi ayon sa mga pinsan ko, hindi lang namin kilalang lahat)

Veronica-kay tita doris

Beverly-ako, siyempre sa mama ko

Columbia at Charina- sa mama ko at kay tita doris

Kimberly-sa mama ko

Charisse Ann-sa mama ko

Favourite niya sa amin si colay. Because she was tomboyish. Mas malakas ang loob. Mas outspoken at mas manly ang look. Makapal ang kilay, malaki ang mata. Siguro it was because he really wanted to have a son. Di ako masyadong nagseselos noong time na yon. Kasi hindi ko talaga nararamdaman yun. Yung mga dalagang pinsan ko lang ang nagsasabi sa akin. Mas issue sa akin na lagi siyang wala sa bahay namin. At halos wala siya nong mga panahon na lumalaki kami. Nagdadalaga.

9.     Since one of the major topics of your book is about menstruation and having it means being a woman, do you believe that the women’s bodies are their destiny?

Naku. Destiny talaga ang mga katawan natin. Hindi lang sa lalaki o sa babae. Sa lahat.  Mens lang naman ang ipinagkaiba natin sa mga lalaki. Kung ano ang kaya nilang gawin, kaya na rin natin. At sila rin. Kung ano ang kaya nating gawin, kaya rin nila. So I guess, wala sa katawan yan. It’s all in the mind! Hehehe

Ang maidadagdag ko lang rito, kapag yan na ang katawan mo, so destiny, yan ang katawan mo, kunwari ako, babae, ako, dapat alamin ko kung paano ko ito magagamit to my advantage. Kung mas flexible ang katawan natin, mas maliit tayo, mas magaan, so kung gusto ko, mas madali sa akin ang mag-ballet. Or maggymnast. or something like these, di ba?

Yong pagkakaroon natin ng kakayahan na magbuntis, I guess hindi siya dapat tingnan bilang isang liability. Its actually one beautiful thing. Pero kung inaapi ka dahil sa kakayahan mong magbuntis, something is wrong, di ba? Not only with you or yung taong umaapi sayo kundi yung buong society na kinabibilangan ninyo mismo.

Sana nasagot ko yong tanong mo. Medyo mahirap yung tanong mo hahahaha puwede ka magtanong sa akin kapag may hindi malinaw. Email ka lang, ha, Lab.

10.  “Bakit ko nga ba susundin ang babaeng ‘to? Wala namang kuwentang babae. Wala naming kuwentang asawa. I therefore conclude, wala ring kakwuenta-kuwentang nanay.”

These lines are some of the heaviest in your book. It greatly shows the effects of your father’s opinion about your mom into you, what if your mother tells you the same about your father, who will have a greater impact on you (your mother or your father’s words)?

She did. Worse pa nga yung ginawa niya e. sinama niya ako huhulihin naming ang tatay ko habang nambababae on the spot. Di ba maraming club sa amin, ayun, isang gabi, isinama niya ako. Me dala siyang bayong. Tapos naglakad lang kami (ibig sabihin, sa club na malapit sa bahay naming ang pinuntahan namin) nagpunta kami sa tabi ng isang night club. Tapos nagtago kami. Tapos inaabangan ng nanay ko lahat ng lumalabas doon sa pinto ng 

night club.

At ang naalala ko na lang, biglang hinugot ng nanay ko ang laman ng bayong. Isang basyong bote ng sprite. Hinataw niya sa ulo ng isang lalaki. Palagay ko tatay ko yon.

Tapos non, wala na akong maalala.

Pero I remember my mami’s words, nambababae na naman yang tatay mo. Hayop talaga. Gago talaga. Pamura-mura pa ang nanay ko.

Nagsisiraan sila. Buti nga at ako lang ang may isip nang mga panahon na yon. Kaya siguro ako lang ang talagang nakaunawa nung mga nangyayari sa kanila. Ang mas malaking impact ay yung sa tatay ko. Kasi nang magkahiwalay sila, yun nga, hindi ko na nakikita ang nanay ko kaya parang gospel truth ang sinasabi ng tatay ko. Akala ko talaga, masama ang nanay ko.

11.  Helene Cixous, a famous feminist believes in the freeing of the self through writing, in your book it seems that you free yourself through writing. Am I right? If yes or no, how can you describe your feelings while writing?

Yes. Na-feel ko ito lalo na nung sinusulat ko ang kay kuya dims. Kapag nare-record ko ang thoughts ko, I feel so liberated alam mo yon? Parang ang dami kong words sa katawan. Gusto ko nang i-articulate kaya masaya ako na naitatala ang mga ito. Parang nakakagaan ng pakiramdam.

Habang sinusulat ko ang mga essay sa book, okay naman ang pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko akalain kasi na magiging book ito eventually. Paisa-isa ko lang itong isinulat. So yes. Parang mas liberating. Actually, the act of sharing the words with…even a paper, liberating. Parang navi-visualize mo kasi. Na yung burden, nailipat mo na sa papel. Napapakawalan mo yung feelings sa loob mo.

12.  How does being a mother and having a son affects your writing?

Malaki. Maaraming times kasi na kaya ako sumusulat kasi gusto ko mabago ang mundo. Alam mo yon? Yung gusto ko, maging better ito. Kaya sulat ako nang sulat. Baka sakaling makatulong akong mabago ito. Kasi iniisip ko ang anak ko. Ilang taon na lang at siya na ang gagalaw nang mag isa sa lipunan. Mapapabilang na siya rito. Kaya hangga’t kaya ko at ng panulat ko, sulat lang nang sulat para makatulong ako sa pagpapaganda nito.

Sa mga sinusulat ko, kahit mabigat at seryoso minsan, I always try to end with hope. Kasi dahil may anak ako. Pag may anak ka, hindi ka puwedeng defeatist. Dapat fighter ka till the end. Hindi ka nawawalan ng pag-asa. Siguro yun din ang trait na gusto kong mamana niya.

13.  Being a single mother, how far do you think your influence can go in your son’s life?

Hindi na nga siya sumasama sa akin ngayon, e. bihira na siyang makinig. Hindi rin siya sumusunod sa mga utos ko. Ang hirap. Binata na kasi. Pero masaya ako kasi mabait naman ang anak ko. Hindi naman basag-ulo. Hindi nagloloko sa pag-aaral. Bagama’t hindi nag-aaral nang mabuti! At kapag pinapagalitan ko, hindi siya sumasagot. Magaling din siyang magsulat. May sariling paraan.

Mahirap sabihin kung hanggang kelan ako magiging impluwensiya sa kanya. Pero sa totoo, gusto ko sana matuto na siyang magdecide para sa sarili niya kahit ngayon pa lang.

14. If you can some it all up in one word, how does it feel living in a “mens world”?

Madugo.

Prepared by: Lablynn Yvette Bautista

                     UPLB MACA

Lablyn,

Maraming salamat. Nag-enjoy ako sa mga tanong mo. Sana ay mapakinabangan mo ang mga sagot ko. Kindly send me a copy of your finished work. Baka puwede kong ipost sa blog ko. Please? Thank you.

Ms. Bebang,

Thank You din po..so much..:-)

A WOMAN’S WIT AND PRUDENCE: BEBANG SIY’S “IT’S A MENS WORLD” IN A FEMINIST VIEW

 A WOMAN’S WIT AND PRUDENCE: BEBANG SIY’S

 “IT’S A MENS WORLD” IN A FEMINIST VIEW

by

Lablynn Yvette F. Bautista

 A major paper submitted to Dr. Leonora Fajutagana of

University of the Philippines Los Banos

in partial fulfilment of the requirements for

COMA 201: Critical Approaches to Communication Studies

Los Banos, Laguna

October 19, 2012

I.                   ABSTRACT

      This paper examines how a Filipina woman used her wit and prudence in freeing herself through writing. Bebang Siy’s book “It’s a mens world” is a collection of 20 essays, it tackles the life of an ordinary Filipina with Chinese ancestry, from her childhood memories to womanhood and more things. Through this book, I will analyze the writing style of the author, the political feminism in the book focusing on the five foci of woman’s writing and the essence of the book in our lives as a Filipina in a feminist view.   The Reader Oriented Approach can also be seen in my analysis.

II.                THE AUTHOR AND THE BOOK

A.    Brief Introduction of the Author

      Beverly Wico Siy a.k.a Bebang Siy was born on December 10, 1979 in Quirino, Manila. Her parents are Roberto Siy and Resurreccion Wico. She is the eldest of five daughters. Her father was Chinese and died from a heart attack when she was 15. Her mother is a Filipina.

      She took up BA Malikhaing Pagsulat (Creative Writing) in the University of the Philippines Diliman. She graduated cum laude in 2002. She immediately signed up for MA Filipino, major in Literature. Bebang became the youngest member of UMPIL or Unyon ng mga Manunulat sa Pilipinas' Board of Directors in 2004-2010. She also served as the president of Linangan sa Imahen, Retorika at Anyo (LIRA) in 2007-2009. LIRA is the premiere and the oldest organization of Filipino poets who write primarily in the national language. She is a single mom to her son, Sean Elijah—“EJ” for short. She is the Executive Officer for Membership and Documentation of Filipinas Copyright Licensing Society (FILCOLS), an organization of authors and publishers that helps fight for the economic rights of copyright holders.

B.     The Title of the Book: “It’s a mens world”

      At first, one may think that the title is just a typographical or grammatical error but it’s not. The book portrayed a girl-woman’s experience of the world as her title would indicate. Some see it as a play on both the idea of males and the colloquial term for menstruation—mens. When I read the back of the book, I also share the same impression, that it evolves on the memories of the author during her first menstruation and at the same time maybe it’s a sarcastic way too of telling that our world is not really and only for men but for women also. I thought that the book of course is focused on how a girl, a lady, a woman lives in a world dominantly controlled by men. Lastly, I would like to believe that this book is another proof that the world could evolve in things that concerns only to us, woman.

      On the other hand, I was privileged to ask the author on how did she come up on the title of this book and this is her answer:

“Ang orihinal na pamagat ng sanaysay kung saan ko hinango ang pamagat ng aklat ay Regla Baby. Parang nilaro ko ang term na Regal Baby ni Mother Lily (ang may ari ng Regal Films na siyang producer ng mga pelikula noon bago pa sumikat ang ABS-CBN, GMA Films at iba pa). Ang Regal Baby ay iyong mga artista na nila-launch ni Mother Lily. Napansin ko noong Regla Baby pa ang title ng essay, hindi siya ma-publish-publish. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. kung saan-saan ko na sinubmit at kung tama ang pagkakaalala ko pati sa Palanca. talo! Isang araw, habang nakasakay ako sa dyip, bigla ko na lang naisip ang phrase na it’s a mens world. At sabi ng loob ko, puwede. Bagay naman sa essay ko. Kaya iyon. Inuna ko ang essay na ito kasi palagay ko it sets the tone of the whole book. Na this book is something really personal, na its about a girl/woman, na its about living in other people’s standards, parang ganon. Kaya naisip ko, maganda na rin na ito na ang pamagat ng buong aklat. Kasi parang it will give you a glimpse of what the book is all about.”

C.    Popularity of the Book

      She’s often been compared to the popular pseudonymous best-selling phenomenon Bob Ong—but with ovaries. It’s a mens world has done well and its author is now sought after as a speaker, thanks to her offbeat humor and sparkling repartee. (De Vera, PDI 2012).

      Like Bob Ong, Bebang Siy’s book is fun and easy to read but it will make you think of the underlying message of each sentence in her book. I believe, as an old fan of Bob Ong and a new fan of Bebang Siy, it is their conversational writing that hooked the public to read their books and appreciate its contents. The humor, prudence and the sarcasm in the way they write is like a pinched to us to see the message of reality that their books are shouting.

      Reading this book is like talking to an old friend, looking in your own photo album (memories), and seeing yourself through the author in one way or another. Everyone can relate to this book, not only women but also men. As Bebang Siy puts it:

       “Maybe it’s because a big part of what makes Bob Ong funny is the language and the tone. I think that it’s the same thing that charmed my audience, the language, the tone and my being a woman, my sexuality. Walang babaeng ganito kabalahura (there’s isn’t another woman so outrageous). Sobrang candid siya at nasa wikang Filipino.”

      Since Filipinos are very humorous, it’s not surprising why we appreciate authors like Bebang Siy and Bong Ong, the good thing is that their books are not only funny, their theme and message is also very inspiring and eye-opening.

III.             THE POLITICAL FEMISM IN THE BOOK

A.    Biological: The Woman’s Body

      It is said that women’s bodies are their destiny. Meaning if we try to defy sexual roles, then we have to defy natural order. In the first essay, this belief is greatly shown in the following sentence: 

      “Magkilos-dalaga ka na kasi maliligawan ka na.”

      “Pumasok ako sa kubeta. Sibibukan kong umihi. Doon ko nalaman na dalaga na pala talaga ako. Malungkot kong tinitignan ang mantsa sa panty. Ay, ang dami mo namang hinihinging kapalit. Demanding, parang ganon. Napakademanding naman pala ng pagdadalaga.”

      In Philippines culture, when a girl has her menstruation already, she is no longer allowed to climb up trees or play with boys. Pagdadalaga (the transition to womanhood) brings in new meaning to every interaction. Here, we can see the impact of the changes that is happening on a woman’s body in her role to our society.

      When I also have my first menstruation, I heard the same advice from the people around me. It can even be stressful and depressing if you’re not yet ready. Expectations are already set for you to follow. It was a big transition, from being a girl who can play and do anything freely to being a lady who is expected to meet the norms of the society. A lady or a woman should be prim and proper in her words and actions, even in our modern times today we are still expected to be more careful in our words and actions than men.

      When you did the opposite (e.g. childish, talkative, flirt etc.), you can be misunderstood. Indeed, being a lady entails a great responsibility.

B.     Females Life Experience

      Females’ life experience (ovulation, menstruation and then giving birth) influence their writing. This can be seen on the essay entitled “Ang Piso”.

      “Hinatak ko si EJ at lumapit na kami sa pinto ng bus. Di ako mahilig makipaggitgitan sa  mga pasaherong paakyat o pababa ng bus pero sa pagkakataong ito, hinarang ko talaga ang ilang lalaking paakyat para mas mabilis kaming makababa. Malabong paarangkadahin ni Manong ang bus kahit anung buset niya sa ginawa kong pagtungayaw sa kanya kasi me mga pasahero siyang hihintayin. Sayang din ‘yon. Pera din ang mga ‘yon.”

      “Ligtas naman kaming nakababa, nakauwi. Walang bali, walang gasgas, walang nagdurugo kundi ang bulsa.”

      “Noong bata ako, masakit ang piso. Ngayon, sumasakit ang puso ko dahil sa piso.”

      By this time, the author is already a mother; she is very particular to the dishonesty of the bus driver and conductor regarding the fare since she is already a mother (a single mother that is living and providing their needs on her own). She is also very detailed in writing about their safety.

      When I asked the author, how does being a mother and having a son affect her writing, this is her answer:

      “Malaki. Maraming times kasi na kaya ako sumusulat kasi gusto ko mabago ang mundo. Alam mo yon? Yung gusto ko, maging better ito. Kaya sulat ako nang sulat. Baka sakaling makatulong akong mabago ito. Kasi iniisip ko ang anak ko. Ilang taon na lang at siya na ang gagalaw nang mag isa sa lipunan. Mapapabilang na siya rito. Kaya hangga’t kaya ko at ng panulat ko, sulat lang nang sulat para makatulong ako sa pagpapaganda nito. Sa mga sinusulat ko, kahit mabigat at seryoso minsan, I always try to end with hope. Kasi dahil may anak ako. Pag may anak ka, hindi ka puwedeng defeatist. Dapat fighter ka till the end. Hindi ka nawawalan ng pag-asa. Siguro yun din ang trait na gusto kong mamana niya.”

C.    Discourse

      According to this belief, women have been oppressed by male dominated language. Men’s definition of discourse has trapped women inside a male definition of female. It is natural for women to defy a male dominated language than just to adhere to feminine style of writing. This can be seen on the essay entitled “Milk Shakes and Daddies”.

      “Kaya raw sila nag-away, mukha raw kasing pera ang Mami ko. Hingi raw nang hingi sa kanya. Akala raw ng Mami ko, may balon ng pera ang balun-balunan niya. Konting dukwang lang, me pera na. ‘Yang Mami ko raw, numero unong gastadora. Saan daw kaya dinadala ang lahat ng pera na ini-intrega niya? Aapat lang naman daw kaming anak nila. Libre na nga bahay, tubig, kuryente. Laking tipd noon, tama ba ako? ani Daddy. Bakit daw andami-dami pa ring gastos ng Mami ko?”

      “May isang genius na nagsabi: manhid ang mga lalaki. At kasangga ako ng genius na ‘yan. Dahil etong tatay, inuulit-ulit pa ang mga ganoong eksena sa buhay ko.”

      “Ang bagong lalaki raw ng Mama ko ay ganito ang pangalan. Blah-blah-blah. Ang mami ko raw, nang-aakit ng lalaki kaya nga raw mahilig ‘tong magpahaba ng buhok. Ang mga lalaki kasi, mas mabilis daw maakit sa mga babaeng mahaba ang buhok. Sabi pa ni Daddy, huwag daw akong tutulad.”

      “Bakit ko nga ba susundin ang babaeng ‘to? Wala namang kuwentang babae. Wala naming kuwentang asawa. I therefore conclude, wala ring kakwuenta-kuwentang nanay.”

                  The first paragraph showed a complaint of the father about her wife to his child. Before, since the man is the one who primarily gives money, it is the wife who acts as the treasurer in the home. Even today, I believe even if the wife is already working, she is still the one who budgets all the expenses of the whole family. For me, the author was able to give justice to a scene that is normally happening in a Filipino household (especially to the poor families). How sad it could be for a plain housewife who did her best to budget the money their husband gives them and still being questioned on where did they spent it. If the husband is the only one working, the words can be worse, since it could mean that he has the right to question his wife.

      The second paragraph indicates the author’s complain on his father’s routine speech about her mother.

      On the third paragraph, we can see the misinterpretation a man’s words can make. It was shown how the father of the author has misunderstood or exaggerates her mother’s appearance. In the third sentence highlighted, there is a generalization about the men’s understanding on women who have long hair and its purpose.

      The fourth paragraph shows the impact of her father’s opinion in the author. Today, we Filipinas still struggle against common problems such as machismo, patriarchy, sexism and sexual discrimination. Overall, the writing style of the author in this book cannot be classified as feminine; she is very honest, open and straight forward in telling her childhood experiences towards the reader. She is not even scared on saying the exact words her father used to describe her mother. Each word showed the reality, that these scenes really exist and that the words were really uttered not only by his father but by others as well. In the exact manner it was said by his father, she was able to communicate the underlying message to her readers. The parents’ opinion to each other greatly affects their child.

      When I ask the author if she considered her writing as a feminine style, this is her answer:

      “Hindi naman. Palagay ko hindi feminine ang style ko, hindi pa-gurl. Pero pang babae ang topic ko. Palagay ko rin, honest ito. Kaya kung honest, ibig bang sabihin noon ay feminine na? Hindi siguro. Pero madetalye ako. At nabasa ko somewhere na mas magaling ang mga babae sa pagbibigay at pagpansin sa mga detalye.”

D.    The Unconscious

      Whatever encourages a free play of meaning and prevents “closure” is regarded as female. Let us analyze the following lines below excerpted in the essay entitled “Sa ganitong paraan daw namatay si Kuya Dims”.

      “Noong ibalita sa akin ni Mama na namatay na si Kuya Dims, parang may kung anong nilalang sa puso ko na nabigyan uli ng buhay. Parang may pumaradang isang bungkos ng eucalyptos sa ilong ko. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Pakiramdam ko, isa akong panaderong naglapag sa sahig ng libo-libong sako ng arina pagkaraang buhatin ito ng dalawampung taon. Anong ginhawa.”

      “Sori pero natuwa ako. Dahil patay na si Kuya Dims.”

      In the first paragraph, there is a play of meaning in the highlighted words. They are used figuratively. The last sentence above has the said prevention of “closure”; the reader was given a hint that there is a deeper story behind this sentence. The author has a big reason why she felt happiness in the death of this “Kuya Dims”. The follow up story is the author’s narration about her “sexual harassment/molestation”. In the end the author was able to free herself through writing; it is shown in the following lines:

      “Ngayong wala na siya ay saka lamang gumaan ang dibdib ko. Kamatayan lamang pala niya ang dudurog sa pasan-pasan ng puso ko.”

     

      “Nagsimula na akong magkwento tungkol sa eksenang iyon sa kubo. Inumpisahan ko sa boyfriend ko tapos, sa pinakamatalik na kaibigang babae. At heto ngayon, itinatala ko pa. Isinusulat bilang bahagi ng sariling kasaysayan.”

      I think most of the readers admired the author the most in this essay. As a woman, it is not easy to disclose this kind of topic. This is a very sensitive issue that even today, many are still afraid to tell anyone (police authorities, families, and friends) that they experience this kind of situation or even worse. It is very humiliating that sometimes even the victims themselves stay in denial.

      In a Catholic country like us, even if we are already in the modern times, the purity of a woman is still very important especially for those who still believe and follow conservative principles.

E.     Social and Economic Conditions

      Male and female write differently not because they are psychologically different but because they have different environments that influence their writing. This is shown in the essay entitled “Shopping”.

      “Pumunta kami agad sa mga papel. Pinadulas ko nang pinadulas sa makinis at kulay-gatas na papel ang mga daliri ko. Pinagsasawa ko na. Alam ko kasing magaspang at kakulay ng umiiyak na langit ang bibilhin ni Mami para sa akin. ‘Yung tipong pamunas lang ng kaklase ko sa naputikan niyang sapatos.

      Kailangan ko din ng pambura. Dumampot ako ng isa. Ulo ni Hello Kitty. Inaamoy-amoy ko ito nang lapitan kami ng isang saleslady. “Hindi sinusubo yan,” anya. Noon ko napansin, ang pakla pakla ng ngiti nya. Siguro umaangil na rin ang pudpod niyang takong: “Tang’na, bilis-bilisan n’yo sa pagpili. Gusto konang umuwi.”

      The paragraphs above showed the social and economic condition of the author. It can also be observed how detailed and descriptive the author is. If it’s a male writer, maybe we can expect a less detailed narration of the scene. Another possibility is that if other writers didn’t experience this personally and they do not give such importance to the description of the paper, the author can just use simple adjectives (old, new, expensive, cheap) instead of the highlighted words above. Indeed, the author wanted to emphasize their situation.

      In the second paragraph, I think the author and her mother just ignore the saleslady since they will not buy the Hello Kitty eraser. If they gave a response to the rude attitude of the saleslady, I think the author will mentioned it in the story but since she ended it like that, I came with the conclusion that they just ignore the rude saleslady and left.

      However, I believe the author wanted to help the readers realize how blessed they are if they didn’t experience such situation. As for me, I just did.

IV.             WIT AND PRUDENCE: A WOMAN’S ARMOUR IN WRITING

            Overall, this book shows how Bebang Siy was able to use her wit and prudence as her armour in freeing herself through writing. Away from the boundaries our society and norms set, she was able to communicate the underlying messages of each word to her readers in a humorous way. In this book, she was able represent the modern day Filipina who is fearless, a fighter and feminist at heart.

            In her essay entitled “First Date”, she was able to use her wit with sarcasm and criticism as basis of humor to give practical advices for any Filipina on their first date.

            Unahin natin ang tungkol sa paggastos.

            Para sa akin, dapat hati. Para walang utang na loob ang isa sa isa. Kung lalaki kasi ang magbabayad, magiging mas maingat ang babe sa pagpili ng oorderin o bibilhin. Baka hindi pa niya maorder o mabili ang gusto niya dahil maiilang siya sa katabing presyo ng item kasi nga hindi sya ang magbabayad.

           

            Kung babe ang magbabayad, baka biglang maglaslas ng pulso ang lalaki dahil nasaan naman ang dignidad doon, diba? First date, babae ang nagbayad? Naman. ‘Wag. PLEASE.

            She was able to show the reality of practical dating. She was able to express the woman’s anxiety on the payment issue. In the old days, the man is the one required to pay for all the expenses in their dates but today woman without embarrassing the man can also pay for herself. Woman today are more capable and practical and not only the man.

            Ayos lang naman kung palpak ang first date. Wala naman talagang perpektong first date. Ang mas importante, hindi palpak yong taong ka-date. Ibig kong sabihin, walang sabit (tulad ni Ginoong Gasul) at higit sa lahat, masayang kasama.

            The paragraph above uses criticism as basis of humor, however the main message is to be careful to guys like Ginoong Gasul (the authors previous date who eventually became her boyfriend but cheated on her, described by the author as unanong tabatsoy).

            Bakit sa Maynila? Kasi kabisado ko ang lugar na ‘to. Syempre, mas maganda talaga kung kabisado ng babae ang pupuntahan niya. Sakaling weirdo ang pala o di kaya biglang tinubuan ng sungay ng kamanyakan ang ka-date niya, alam na niya ang daan pauwi o palayo sa kasumpa-sumpang ka-date.

            This line is very interesting for me. This is a very important reminder for women on their first date. To choose a familiar place is to ensure your safety. We should know how to take care of ourselves.

            Lastly, in her essay entitled “Asintada”, she gave a very inspirational advice to her readers:

            “Kung meron kang gustong patunayan, ihanda nang bongang-bongga ang sarili sa mga posibleng mangyari dahil siguradong may kapalit ito. Minsan ang kapalit ay maganda, minsan matamis. Pero minsan din ay mahapdi at minsan naman, maalat.”

            “As in.”

            As a woman, we all want to prove something to all the people around us but we must think carefully before making any decision especially if it’s a life changing one.

            It’s good to laugh while reading, but when we were able to think and realize the deeper message of it, then the author succeed on her goal. In the end, I can only say that I really enjoy reading this book as a girl in heart and a Filipina woman. In this bloody world, we can heal all wounds through the grace of God and love from the people around us.

V.                REFERENCES

De Vera, R. (2012, January 17). Funny Girl. Philippine Daily Inquirer online newspaper. Retrieved October 1, 2012, from http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/30079/funny-girl

Lim, R. (2011, November 12). Vagina Monologues. Manila Bulletin online newspaper. Retrieved October 1, 2012, from http://www.mb.com.ph/node/341000/vagina-monologue

Unknown (2012). Retrieved October 1, 2012, from http://manilaliteraryfestival.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3&Itemid=3

Unknown. Retrieved October 1, 2012, from http://gatheringbooks.wordpress.com/2012/06/16/its-a-mens-world-by-bebang-siy/