The Language, Science, Arts, and Secrets of Online Dating

I first started online dating April or May 2016 when I was about to turn 26.

I tried a lot of dating sites but it is in OkCupid where I met my husband.

I like OkCupid out of all the dating sites I tried. It worked for me but not instantly.

It took me almost two years before I met someone who is as honest, serious and share the same values I have.

It is very important to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, it is harder though because it is easier to just let yourself be fooled by anyone and justify that he or she is good enough. When you need to convince yourself otherwise, most of the time there is something wrong.

Too good to be true= FAKE/NOT TRUE/SCAM

I learned that it is never too much to know more, be more prepared and cautious yet still BE HONEST as much as you can. Never mind the liars, stay away from pervs and just try your best to not fall for them and their games.

There are things that we can only learn through experience but there are more things we can learn beforehand (through tips backed by data) that can help us in the long way.

In an app like OkCupid, I learned that answering questions as many as you can to read others’ answers too is the first phase to know (as much as you can) the person you are interested to. Investigate before meeting someone in person and only meet first in a public place.

In an article I read, one of the co-founders of OkCupid said that ''We're not psychologists. We're math guys,” remarked Sam Yagan, the chief executive of OKCupid. He wasn’t being self-deprecating.

OKC suggests romantic pairings based on information gathered from a sprawling, seemingly endless questionnaire. When filling out the questionnaire, users are also asked to rank the relative importance of each question and to say which answer or answers they would prefer in a partner. Users, in other words, describe to the OKCupid database their ideal “match” as a set of data points.

READ and equip yourself as much as you can.

Either online or offline, bad people are everywhere.

BE SMART. BE WISE.

Learn the language of online dating.

Learn the science and arts of what you are doing.

Know the secrets of what you are trying.

Don't take the shortcut even when it is tempting.

Some may be lucky/blessed to meet their THE ONE instantly but believe me when I say that it is rare.

There are no exact rules but knowing these things will surely help you to set your expectations and limitations.

Suggested Readings:

The Science of Online DatingOnline dating secrets, as revealed by math majors
How To Get More Matches On OkCupid, According To An
ExpertDating with data
Seven secrets of dating from the experts at OkCupid
Going on a First Date? Here Are the Questions to Ask
The Language of Online Dating
Language in Online Dating Texts: Trait Identification, Homophily, and their Effect on Attraction
Decoding The Language Of Online Dating: What She Says vs. What She Means
Online Dating Vocabulary: What You Need to Know
From 'Bae' To 'Submarining,' The Lingo Of Online Dating
The secret language of internet dating
How To Win At Online Dating
Best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and anyone hesitant to try online dating
7 Ways To Optimize Your Online Dating Profile
How to Protect Your Privacy While Online Dating
Translating the Language of Online Dating Sites
The Essential Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating
The Grown Woman's Guide to Online Dating
“Gendering” the Self in Online Dating Discourse
Online Dating Decoder: Desperately Seeking Meaning
11 Results from Studies About Online Dating
The 5 Love Languages For Singles: Using Them With Online Dating

Online Dating Translations: What Guys And Girls Are Actually Saying In Their Profiles
An Examination of Language Use inOnline Dating Profiles
Idiot’s Guide To Online Dating Terms & Lingo [2019 Edition]

Synopsis: The Grammar of Language

         Some people learn best through personal experience or application while others stick to the book and standard rules. Learning English as a second language can be a tough job for anyone, there are people who have a natural aptitude for acquiring languages but there are also who find it really difficult.

            
           English grammar has three dimensions which are morphosyntactic, semantics and pragmatics. In simple terms they can be labelled as form, meaning, and use. Form is about accuracy and how a particular grammar structure is constructed. With semantics, we want to know what does a particular grammar structure means and what contribution it makes whenever it is used. On pragmatics, we are interested on when and why a particular grammar structure has been used instead of another structure with the same meaning. There are students who are good in identifying the form or structure of the language while others are better in meaning and there are also those who are best in usage. However, these three are of equal importance to achieve proficiency both in grammar and communication.

       
       Each student has a different learning process. For this reason, there are two approaches to teaching language. The first one focuses primarily on language use and the second focuses on language form or analysis. Under these approaches, grammar operates at three levels: the subsentential or morphological level, the sentential or syntactic level, and the suprasentential or discourse level. Subsentential level is the level below that of the sentence; it has three criteria which are semantic (standard definition), structural (position in a sentence) and functional (grammatical function in a sentence). Sentential level describe the word order of the English sentence, it has three terminologies which are simple, compound and complex sentences. Suprasentential level is where an analysis of how morphology and syntax are deployed to effect certain discourse purposes. Terminologies used under this level are cohesion (structure), register (level of formality of language), genre (linguistic variation due to the communicative purposes to which the language is put), given information (assumed by the writer to be known by the reader), and new information (newsworthy).

         After understanding these things, we should be able to use grammatical structures accurately, meaningfully and appropriately.

References: Celce- Murcia, M. & Larsen- Freeman, N. (2008). The grammar book. Singapore: Heinle- Thomson Learning Asia. pp. 2-5, 13-15, 161-175